Christmas Jokes

Share and read some jokes, riddles, and funny stories.

Christmas Jokes

Postby Mrs.Claus » Sun Aug 10, 2008 1:01 pm

Lilnoelelf - posted some in another thread, but I thought they might be easier to find if they had their own home. Feel free to share any other ones here.

Why is Prancer always wet?
Because he's a rain-deer!

Why does Scrooge love all of the reindeer?
Because every buck is dear to him!
~ Mrs. Claus ~

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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Noel+ » Sun Aug 10, 2008 11:48 pm

Those are SO cute! Gonna share them with my kids at breakfast! Thanks Mrs C! :smilecc:
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby lilnoelelf » Mon Aug 11, 2008 4:26 am

LOL thanks Mrs. C I'll post a few more here


Whats happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy !


What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple

What do snowmen wear on their heads ?
Ice caps !

What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers !

Where do snowmen go to dance ?
Snowballs !

How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !

What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball !
Remember the TRUE reason for the season!!!!Image!
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Noel+ » Wed Aug 13, 2008 12:05 am

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Mrs.Claus » Thu Aug 14, 2008 11:03 am

The snowmen jokes reminded me of this one:

What do snowmen eat for breakfast?

Frosted Flakes (sometimes I hear the answer as snowflakes too) :flake:
~ Mrs. Claus ~

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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Noel+ » Fri Aug 15, 2008 10:53 pm

:lol: Love the "frosted flakes" answer!!! :snowwow:
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Merry Sage » Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:01 am

Bwahahaha! :smilecc:
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Noel+ » Sat Aug 23, 2008 1:24 am

What did the dog breeder get when she crossed an Irish Setter with a Pointer at Christmastime?
A "pointsetter"!

What do sheep say to each other at Christmastime?
Merry Christmas to ewe!

What do sheep say to shepherds at Christmastime?
Season's Bleatings!

How do sheep say Merry Christmas in Mexico?
Fleece Navidad!

How do Chihuahua's say Merry Christmas?
Fleas Navidog!

What's the best thing to put into Christmas dinner?
Your teeth!

Why should Christmas dinner always be well done?
So you can say "Merry Crispness"!

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Mary.
Mary who?
Mary Christmas!

A definition of Christmas:
The time when everyone gets "Santa"-mental.

What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?
A sad candy cane!

What did one Christmas cracker say to the other Christmas cracker?
My POP is bigger than yours!

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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Merry Sage » Sat Aug 23, 2008 9:31 am

And more bwahahahaha! :smilecc:

What do you get if Santa comes down the chimney while the fire is still burning?
Crisp Kringle!

Why does Santa always go down the chimney?
Because it soots him!

What does Santa use when he goes fishing?
His north pole!

*thanks to Santa Jokes
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Noel+ » Sun Aug 24, 2008 12:09 am

The more the merrier!! :D :lol: :lol:
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Merry Sage » Mon Aug 25, 2008 7:11 am

Two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of sub zero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde finally turned to the other and said, “I've had it. I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!”

:holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

The stock boy replied, “No ma'am, they're dead.”

:holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1:

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. “What denomination?” asked the clerk.

“Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.”

:holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1:


*thanks to joe-ks
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Noel+ » Tue Aug 26, 2008 11:00 pm

:lol: :D :lol: :D Good! :lol: :D :lol: :lol:
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby saramitch85 » Thu Nov 13, 2008 6:48 pm

lol i love all the jokes on here!
.sara mitch umg.
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby XmasSnowy » Mon Nov 17, 2008 5:09 pm

[quote="Merry Sage"]Two blondes who went deep into the frozen woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of sub zero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde finally turned to the other and said, “I've had it. I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!”

:holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1:

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”

The stock boy replied, “No ma'am, they're dead.”

:holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1:

A Woman went to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. “What denomination?” asked the clerk.

“Oh, good heavens! Have we come to this?” said the woman. “Well give me 50 Baptist and 50 Catholic.”

:holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1: :holly1:

:laugh: I love the joke about the blondes!.. No offenses :)
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Christmas_Eggnog » Tue Oct 06, 2009 3:23 pm

:laugh: You guys are hilarious...let me try and find some good jokes to share..... :think:
Christmas is, of course, the time to be home - in heart as well as body."
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby safrimic » Sat Dec 05, 2009 4:10 am

hahaha :lol: :lol:
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Noel+ » Sun Dec 06, 2009 3:10 am

Yes, please share your jokes Christmas_Eggnog! :smilecc:
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Mrs Griswold » Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:19 am

Nice : )
It's the season to be jolly.
www.the-christmas-season.com
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby Noel+ » Fri Aug 06, 2010 4:37 am

Anyone have a new joke to share? :lol:
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Re: Christmas Jokes

Postby kiwidogy_max » Wed Dec 08, 2010 12:00 am

This isn't a joke. It is actually a funny story. Every Christmas at my parent's house, after dinner, we would open up Christmas crackers. In each of those English Christmas Crackers, there was a whistle and paper crown. We used the whistles to perform Christmas songs. It was always a hilarious performance!!
Love and Joy Come to You!
Santa's coming Santa's coming! I know him!
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